Obsession: A new smelly thing from Luis Escobar
March 6, 2008 in SOME THOUGHTS, THE SIMPSONS NEWS
THE SIMPSONS NEWS
Mostly drawing crowds this week. We have a lot of them in this show. It’s dull work.
I’ve pretty much run out of Podcasts again. I’m going to have to find me some new ones. The ones I subscribe to aren’t enough anymore.
Got into work late once this week. That was annoying.
Once again the studio has passed out a memo asking artists to pitch new animated show ideas. Every time they do this, nothing ever comes of it. It seems everyone is jaded over the whole idea. I’ve tried it the last time they did this and the whole thing fell apart on them before anything could happen. I don’t know what to think.
SOME THOUGHTS
I’ve realized, after looking at my blog that I’ve just been writing a lot about board games. In fact, it looks like I write about them more than just about any other subject. Even more than what I write about the Simpsons. Why? Well, besides the obvious answer, “I like them a lot”, there are a few other reasons why. I‘ve found, after taking a good look at myself and seeing how I am, that I tend to go through these obsessive phases in my life. What do I mean my obsessive phases? That’s when I get into something so much that I’m thinking and almost always surrounding myself with it twenty four hours a day, every day. I’ve also found that I tend to use these obsessions as a way to relax when I get too stressed out. It also doesn’t help that I live in my head most of the time, in a type of anti social dream world where my mind is racing around thinking deeply about something meaningful or ridiculously shallow. This tends to feed into my introverted side which is very antisocial and tends to almost always make me feel uncomfortable and bored around large social gatherings.
My obsessive phases last between months to years. I don’t remember my first ones but I’m sure they began early. Maybe it was Garfield. I don’t know, the thing is they happen. Most of my obsessions never really go away, they’re always there but just not as dominant as they once where, while others go away completely. For example, when I was a teenager, I was obsessed with Batman, to the point where I was trying to get Encyclopedic knowledge of all things Batman, but now I could care less about him. On the other hand, at another time in my teenage life, I was obsessed with learning and “Game Mastering” Role Playing Games (RPGs). That really hasn’t gone away completely, I still buy and read new RPGs and I sit around wishing I had the time and energy I once used to have to play or run a game or two. It’s really weird. I was once really into vampires. I was obsessed with them for a year or so but that went away and I haven’t really gotten it back. Few years back, before the movies came out, I got crazy obsessed with The Lord of the Rings books and their history. That really didn’t truly leave me but I don’t have the urge to talk about them the way I once did. Perhaps the most useful obsession I’ve ever had was the three year obsession I had with Philosophy and Theology. That truly hasn’t gone away either but I’m not walking around with a Philosophy professor living in my head any more. My Catholicism obsession (which started at the same time) has also never left me. I used to study that stuff to relax. There was also the time I was obsessed with story telling and writing…I mean I’m always getting obsessed with something. Some people have one thing they get that way about, I get it with something different every three years or so. This time it happens to be board games. Although I have to admit, it was bound to happen. Every time I saw some sort of analog game using strange dice, or cards or chips or something, I would be very interested. Oooh that reminds me about the time I got crazy obsessed with chess and….never mind, time for my next point.
The more stressed out I get, the more obsessed I get. It’s been quite stressful around here lately. I need something to take my mind off things and I almost always turn to my obsession. When I was into video games, I would come home from work and just go to my room and stay there for hours playing on my Playstation. That was my sanctuary. That was my way of dealing with the stress. I was living with my parents at the time and they would very rarely see me because I was playing games for hours. Come to think of it though, I’m not too sure if video games were an obsession. It was more of an interest. I think the whole Board Game thing I’m going through right now is. It’s not mainstream enough and I have to go out of my way to know about this stuff. Kinda like the way my Anime obsession was…Nah! Who am I kidding? The video game thing was an obsession too.
I’m a bit weird…well, a lot weird. When I’m asleep I dream just like everyone else, but when I’m awake, I dream just as much. Most of the time I’m only half awake. Half of me is in “La la land” thinking about something while the other half is living out the day as it should be. I’ve found that about 80% of the time, “La la land” consists of whatever I’m obsessed with at the time. This makes it very difficult for me to really concentrate on anything that isn’t in some way associated with the things that happen to be going on in my head. One of the reasons I listen to podcasts is to try to control this problem. My job requires me to be focused and to get the job done, but if I was to sit down and try to do it, five to ten minutes into it, you’d find me blankly staring at my desk. I’d be in “La la land” playing with my pet thought of the moment. On the other hand, when I listen to podcastS, audio books, or audio lectures, that dreamy part of my mind stays focused on whatever I’m listening to while the part of me that needs to get things done, gets things done. It keeps my dreaming in check and allows me to do my job. The moment I take the headphones off though, POW, I’m back in “La la land” playing with my obsession.
This, as you may have gathered, causes no end of trouble to my social life. I go to a party and I haven’t got the slightest clue what to do with myself. I know you’re suppose to go make small talk with people and find out what’s going on in their lives and get caught up, but how do you do that when the part of you that can ask creative questions and really listen is in “La la land”? If I do it, it’s because a supreme superhuman effort on my part is taking place. This leaves me so exhausted that I don’t want to be around anyone for hours afterwards. What usually ends up happening, is that I end up sitting somewhere by myself or with my wife and just staring off into space, wishing I was somewhere where I could be satisfying the needs that my current obsession requires and generally feeling miserable. Thing is, if at that time you where to come up to me and bring up the subject I’m currently obsessing about, WATCH OUT, because you’ve woken the giant and I’d talk your ear off. After three or four hours listening to me talk about the same thing, most people are ready to jump off the nearest cliff. The thing is, you’d actually be talking to a fully awake me. The “La la land” me and the normal world me, have become one and I’m completely there. Currently, if you want me to be completely there, you’d have to play a board game with me. Lately when I’m desperate to feel fully awake and whole, I bring out a board game and ask to play. At other times in my life, when I wanted to be awake and whole, I’d try to get into a Theological discussion with you or ask you to watch a Japanese cartoon with me. It would all depend on my current obsession. Sometimes, I even revert back to an old obsession for a day or a couple of hours. You never know what the heck is going on my head.
So there you have it. The reason I’ve been writing so much about board games on this blog lately. I’m curious as to what my next one will be and how long it will last. But since I’m stuck with this one right now, I might as well have as much fun with it as possible.
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