THE SIMPSONS NEWS

I got sick on Thursday and Friday of last week.  I came into work both days.  I don’t think I could have made it through the day, had it not been for the fact that I spend the day sitting down.  During lunch, I would eat and then pass out for the rest of lunch.  It was pretty miserable.  I had to finish the work I was given though. Specially since I didn’t know how heavy the next act I was assigned was going to be.  Turns out that it didn’t have all that many fixes.  I probably could have stayed home and it would have all turned out okay.

Oh well.

GHETTOMATION

Once again  Jim Lujan makes another Ghettomated cartoon.  This one actually came out a few weeks ago but I didn’t get the chance to post it till now.  It’s unbelievable how many cartoons this guys turns out.  I’ve been working on my cartoon for about eleven months and Jim seems to have come out with eleven cartoons for my (still in progress) one.

WRITING

What I’ve written below is not what I wanted. At least the first half. The second half is much closer to what I had in mind but still not quite right. This is what happens when you don’t come up a good logical magick system for your story.  You end up not quite knowing what’s possible to do in it.  It’s too open ended and then suddenly you’re lost.  Then, since there’s too much to think about, you end up having the magic users, just throwing projectiles. Boring. Might as well give them ray guns. So the question I had to ask myself was, “What would be interesting to see?”

Too bad I ignored the question because what I ended up with is NOT very interesting. Nor do I want to work on it.  I’m going to leave this as is, just as a place holder until I can come up with something better.  I think I’ll need to work out the magick system better and see if I can’t come up with a more interesting final battle.

Scene 8 (Thought/Knowledge)

• • Seeing the might they have unleashed on themselves the Sorcerers are shocked and two of them are incapacitated by Rob. The Lead Sorcerer seeing this, thinks he’s proved his case and does the crazy thing of putting his guard down to prove to Rob who he really is. Rob sees this and fights to bring down his rage. The Lead Sorcerer expects to be struck down, only Rob surprises him by NOT doing so. (Act 3 climax)

Outdoor Shopping Area – Day continued

Rob straightens up and turns to look at the stunned Sorcerers.

This snaps them back to their senses.   The Lead Sorcerer immediately commands an attack.  He guessed wrong. He now assumes the hammer Rob holds must also give him a boost in strength or something. In any case, as long as they hit him with everything they have, this should be over quickly.

The Lead Sorcerer commands The Other Male Sorcerer to create the most intense heat blast he can, next to Rob, while The Female Sorcerer should make a thick shield of the coldest ice she could make to protect them from the heat and cocoon Rob. Meanwhile he will attempt to turn the air around Rob into natural gas so the very air around Rob would roast him.

Rob doesn’t like what he hears.  He thinks he better move before it’s too late. The thought hadn’t left his mind before the fire and ice had trapped him. A small layers of ice forms on his skin. Instantly  a fireball start growing before him increasing in intensity. Rob simply reacts.  No thought, just instinct. The hammer hits the wall of ice. It was three yards thick and he hit a hole right through.  Then Rob starts running through the hole. An explosion from behind, sends him flying through and out.  He rolls tumbling on the ground and at the last moment manages to use the last of the momentum to come to his knees.  Steam rising from his body. No burns on him.  The ice ironically shielded him.   Rob finds himself, only a yard from The Female Sorceress.

In spite of their shock and in spite of the fact that all that magick had taken a lot out of them and left them exhausted, The Female Sorceress takes the opportunity to attack Rob with all she has left.  The demon that gives her power, almost physically manifests around her as she attempts to freeze Rob’s insides.

Rob screams in pain as he feels his body begin to freeze.  He moves toward The Sorceress.

She creates a wall of ice to shield herself. She’s now very weak and can hardly maintain the two spells.

Rob feels the spell waver for a second or two as the ice wall goes up.  He smashes right through it and his hammer continues on until it hits The Sorceress in the chest. The manifestation of the demon inside her gets knocked out of her as if IT, not the Sorceress was hit by the blow.  It leaves the Sorceress’ body as the Sorceress cries in pain and passes out.  The demon seems to evaporate in a silent scream.

A cry from the Other Male Sorcerer, makes Rob turn. The effects of the Sorceress’ spell waring off.

As far as the Other Male Sorcerer is concerned, Rob has gone too far. He knows what Rob has just done to the woman he loves and he will pay and suffer for it.  Exhausted as he is, he attacks Rob in a fire filled rage.  The demon that gives him his power almost become fully manifest in him and around him.  His hands become torches.  Fireballs explode out of his hands like machine gun bullets  shooting at Rob as he runs toward him.

Rob begins knocking fireballs into oblivion, with his hammer, as fast they reach him. The heat of fire still gets through.  Sweat begins to gather on Rob’s forehead and begins to get in his eyes blinding him. Just as Rob blinks the sweat off, The Other Male Sorcerer reaches Rob and strikes. Rob takes a full on, fire punch, to the face. Once again, The Other Male Sorcerer has knocked Rob to the ground.

The Lead Sorcerer, isn’t idle through all this. In fact, he was just about to cast a spell in order to help The Other Male Sorcerer in finishing Rob off when Rob’s Raven begins attacking him.  Completely taken by surprise by the fury of the attack, The Lead Sorcerer could only think to swat at the bird and run from it.

The Other Male Sorcerer step up to Rob and goes for the killing blow.  A beam of pure fire shoots directly at Rob from his hands at point blank range.  At the same moment, Rob brings the hammer up. The fire beam and hammer hit. The hammer, acts like a shield and it seems to soak the fire into itself. Rob stand up and shoves forward, hard, making the Other Male Sorcerer stumble back. The fire beam goes off for a second. As the Sorcerer raises his hand to strike again, Rob swing the  hammer and hits the Sorcerer in the face.  The manifestation of the demon that gave the Sorcerer his power reacts as if IT was hit in the face.  The demon flies out of the Sorcerer. The Sorcerer screams in pain.  The demon evaporates in a silent scream as  the Sorcerer falls to the ground.  His body suddenly seems to deflate like a balloon and becomes scrawny and weak.  The hair covering his face had been knocked out of the way revealing a shriveled ugly face.  The other Male Sorcerer sits up, looks at himself, looks at his hands and cries out that he has lost his powers and then begins to sob.

Rob turns from the man, telling him that he had been given the chance to leave. He also tells him to put his hair back on his face. Rob is kinda freaked out by how ugly he is.

Meanwhile, The Lead Sorcerer, loathing to use any of his power on a pesky bird. Decides to try using just enough to get it off him.  He takes some molecules in the air and creates a quick burst of air that knocks the Raven far up and away from him.  Satisfied that he bought himself some time, he looks toward Rob and the other Sorcerer, only to see Rob walking toward him as his companion weeps. He was too late to help and now it’s just him and  the killer. The Lead Sorcerer begins a spell.  Time to die a hero.

Rob stops his approach. He tells the Sorcerer not to do it.  He tells the Sorcerer it doesn’t have to be this way.  He could just walk away. He tells the Sorcerer that he doesn’t want to fight anymore. That he’s tired. That they caused enough destruction.

Rob’s words, rather than being taken the way they were intended, are heard by the Sorcerer as a man who is too weak to fight and is now bluffing for his life.  Since the Sorcerer thinks Rob is evil and insincere, everything he says must NOT be what he means. That said, The Sorcerer DOES see how much of an act Rob’s been putting up all this time.  The Sorcerer decides that before this is over, he will force Rob to admit what a monster he truly is, and that he deserves to die.

Reaching up and grabbing the air before him, the Sorcerer begins to press the air molecules together in order to crush Rob.

Rob is suddenly stuck  in place. He  feels as if he’s between two walls, getting crushed by them. He tries to raise his hammer hand and finds it too difficult.

Through gritted teeth, the Sorcerer begins talking to Rob telling him how Rob has shown his true power now.  Pointing out to him how he ruthlessly dispatched his companions without a second thought.

Rob tries to respond but can’t. The ground he’s standing on begins to crack and break apart from  the pressure.

The sweat runs down the Sorcerer’s head from the strain.  He orders Rob to admit that his power is too great. That it WILL  overcome him. That even if he thinks he hasn’t been seduced yet, that he’s fooling himself.  He tells Rob he can see that he enjoys it. That he WILL want to use it for personal gain, and eventually he will abuse it to conquer and rule the world and so deserves to be stopped.

Rob can hardly breath. Something about what the Sorcerer is saying rings true. The power feels good.  He does enjoy it in him.  He doesn’t know what that means but he’s afraid that it MIGHT corrupt him.  But if that’s so, how can he tell?  Has he done anything that shows that he’s corrupt? Not that he can remember.

On the other hand, HE didn’t attack the Sorcerers. They attacked HIM. Who is this guy to lecture.  It only makes him angry at the injustice.  He struggle to free himself so he could at least take a breath. If he’s there any longer, he’s going to pass out and then die of asphyxiation.

The Sorcerer feels himself loosing control of the air.  Rob is breaking free.  He calls on more power.  The manifestation of the demon that gives him his power surrounds The Sorcerer and he orders Rob to admit that he’s evil and deserves to be stopped at all cost.

Rob’s raven flies down and begins attacking the Sorcerer. The Sorcerer attempts to strike the Raven with one hand.

Rob feels the spell weakening. He lets out a mighty yell, grip the hammer tight, lifts it, and breaks free from the spell.

He takes in a mighty breath of air and coughs. Then turn to look at the Sorcerer, just in time to see him strike the raven with some sort of air punch that sends the bird bouncing and tumbling to the floor.

Anger surges through him.  All he wants, is to pound on the Sorcerer.  Enough is enough.  He roars with rage. Run towards the Sorcerer like a barbarian berserker, mad with rage.

The Sorcerer sees it. What he was looking for. There it is.  The monster.  He was completely justified in his action.  He knew it.  Now the monster comes for him in truth.  The Sorcerer tries one last thing. He tries to take the oxygen from Rob’s lungs.

Rob gags. Stumbles, struggles to get air. Gasps for it. In a wild rage, Rob just swings the hammer in the direction of the Sorcerer who is too far away…and strikes some sort of Magickal connection that sends the Sorcerer flying back and frees Rob from the spell.

The Sorcerer slams against a wall.

Robs runs at him, hammer up, ready to strike.

The Sorcerer smiles. He has enough strength to move away. To strike once more, but why? He’s won. So he tells Rob to do it, since he has won, and has shown Rob who he truly is.  He closes his eyes and waits to be struck.

But it doesn’t happen.

He opens his eyes, and sees Rob right in his face.  Rob grabs the Sorcerer by the scruff of the neck and slams him hard against the wall. Then Rob tells him everything he’d been dying to say. He tells the Sorcerer that after all that. After getting him that furious, he was STILL wrong about him.  Rob brings up how even after THEY ATTACKED HIM and destroyed his lunch he STILL gave them a chance to walk away.  Which they didn’t use.  That no matter what Rob  said, they deliberately took it in the worst way they could when he was simply being sincere. Whose fault was that?  He  points out that, after he had the hammer, THEY chose to attack.  EVERYTHING he did was self defense. Just as it HAS been ANYTIME he’s for Sorcerers.  He tells the Sorcerer to look around. What part of the destruction was Rob’s compared to the destruction they caused.  He asks him whose fault was it that those other two Sorcerers lost their powers? Who attacked who.  Who is evil. Who has acted with just cause? Who has acted with hatred and ignorance. He tells the Sorcerer to open his eyes and take a good long look at himself. Who here makes a pact with a demon for power? He tells the Sorcerer to ask himself, whose actions speak louder than words here?

Then Rob lets go of the Sorcerer, turns, and limps away in the direction of his raven. He’s had enough. He needs to make sure his friend is okay.

END OF SCENE

Overall, the thing I’m most unsatisfied with, is how generic the magick is.  I mean, it just seems like one has ice powers, the other has fire powers and the third uses “the Force”.  It doesn’t really say “magick” to me.

Unfortunately, this means I have to change my plans a bit.  After I’m done writing the treatment, I’m going to have to sit down, do some research, and come up with an interesting, visual magick system.   Then I’ll have to go back to the treatment and give it a second pass.  I think it’s important that I, at least, get the magick right and get the treatment in a more ready condition before I start writing dialogue.  I don’t want to waste my time and effort once I have to start doing the final parts of the story.  The more problems I solve in this stage, the more fun I’ll have in the later stages.

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